What if you would try not to think of a purple cow? This most likely wouldn’t work. The reason being is because as soon as the purple cow appears in our minds , its impossible to get rid of it by consciously not thinking about it.. The more we try to get rid of it, the more it persist. The purple cow in this case represents our general dissatisfaction, which may manifest as negative emotions , Like sadness, stress, anger or boredom. ironically the more we try to be less dissatisfied the more dissatisfied we become. So could it be this inclination to be so invested in becoming free from dissatisfaction trying to be happy, trying to be content is exactly the reason we aren’t?
Here we see the paradox of will power. which is the basis of the law of reverse efforts. Also referred to as The backwards law By Philosopher Allen Watt. The backwards law purposes the more we pursue something the more we achieve the opposite of what we truly want. And in return leaves us feeling dishearten. Or in basic terms ‘the harder we try the less likely we’ll succeed”. On the other hand when we stop trying we’ll have what we want.
So if we want to stop thinking of the purple cow in this case, giving up our struggle and letting our desire to get rid of it dry out is the paradoxical solution. Instead of trying to remove the cow from our thoughts forcefully we let it dissipate by itself by leaving it alone.
I know what you may be thinking. If this is true then how exactly do we get what we want , without trying to get what we want? I know this may sound a little confusing but in This blog post we will explores the backwards law and its paradoxical nature. As well as the cause of our ongoing dissatisfaction in life and how we can empower ourselves from it.
THE BACKWARDS LAW
How can we get what we want without trying to get it? This may seem like and impracticable & absurd way to operate. Especially in a world where we are use to striving and putting effort into acquiring what we desire. Will power is a valuable solution to attain things in the external world. Take becoming wealthy for an example, in the monetary sense it would most likely take effort to attain a certain amount of money to be classified as wealthy. But The Backwards Law isn’t so much about worldly achievement’s, if anything it transcends them. Its about getting what we REALLY TRULY desire. Its a shortcut to the Holy grail, the thing we are all after. But what is it? is it wealth? is it love, is it a long & healthy life? Even though such things are pleasurable, there just inexpensive imitations of the real thing. There are the things we believe that will lead us to what we seek. But as The Backwards Law states, the more we seek the less we find. The more we chase outside circumstances the further we’ll be removed from what we desire. So the question we are left with is.. what do we truly desire? Is it Happiness & money? if so What is happiness? Is it something we acquire from love or material possessions? According to Alan Watts we don’t know what we truly want because we cannot define it.
Why don’t you know what you want? One reason may be that you already have it and may not know it. Sometimes we get so caught up in the “wanting” we forget what is around us. What we desire often appears to present itself in a different form then you expected.
Another reason may be because you don’t know yourself, because you never can.
The human predicament is a collective delusion witch tells us that obtaining external things or changing external circumstances from objects to money to adjustments of the body to changes of scenery will fundamentally release us from our sense of lack. The Backwards Law shows us that the opposite is the case. We feel lacking because of our discontent with current circumstances, the greater our discontent the more we suffer. The greater change we need to be content , the less content we are. Imagine that you set yourself a goal to become a successful entrepreneur , believing that this will make you happy. Setting such a goal not only means that it takes a lot of effort to reach contentment, it also means being so far remove from that goal makes you unhappy because you realize how inadequate you are compared from where you want to be.
“Pursuing something only reinforces the fact that you lack it in the first place. The more you desperately want to be rich, the more poor and unworthy you feel, regardless of how much money you actually make” Mark Manson
Nevertheless we still choose to set the bar high, often times far above our current position. And by doing so our feeling of inadequacy is deep and persisting. And thus we keep escaping what is, into situations that we perceive as more pleasurable. But when we get there we eventually we find ourselves in the same dissatisfied state that we tried to escape. We must remember that every keen pleasure is an error and an illusion. For no attained wish can give lasting satisfaction. “The will” of attaining our desires is why we strive it is why we seek. But following it never satisfies because “the will” itself is the very thing that keeps us from getting what we want. Most people of the eastern philosophy believed that the only way to be truly content is the negation of “the will”, which leaves to a blissful empty state free of striving. In other words stop tryin to get it and you will have it.
How to have what we want
“He does not store, and therefore he has a superabundance; he looks solitary, but has a multitude around him. In his conducting of himself he is easy & leisurely and wastes nothing”
“He does nothing, and laughs at the clever and ingenious. Men all seek happiness, but he feels complete in hi imperfect condition. (Lao Tzu)
Accept imperfection then you will feel perfect. Accept loneliness and you will feel content alone. if Try to be perfect then you will be imperfect. If you try not to be lonely then you will be miserable by yourself. Accepting a negative is a positive experience. But fighting a negative means you suffer twice. When you try to stay on the surface of the water you sink. But when you try to sink you float. You see when you stop trying to be happy we will then be happy , because there is nothing we need beyond “what is”. When we stop trying to be rich then we will live in abundance, because we are content with what we have. And anything on top of that is a bonus. Thus the only way to have what we want is to not to want. That’s what The Backwards Law teaches us.
Hence stop trying to get it & you will have it. Being aware of the workings of The Backward Law doesn’t mean we should never set goals, never have ambitions, or never pursue change. There’s Most like;y an endless amount of reasons why we should make a change & shouldn’t accept the status quo. However The Backward Law does teach us not to be fooled with the idea that the pursuit of leads to happiness. Actually it is quite the opposite. & With that knowledge we are able to enter that blissful state of not wanting a bit more often.
As Alan Watts stated “The mystery of life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced”.